Well, it’s been almost two weeks since This Girl Puts Out came to life online. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster emotionally. I hadn’t realized this had become my second child. I messed up a bit though, and I need to come clean. 

I wanted to launch TGPO this without too much fanfare, flying just a bit under the radar. Two reasons. First, I wanted you to know I was legit, and that this project was all about helping people. I wanted you to feel safe and know I truly cared about you. Combining that with bells and whistles just didn’t feel right to me. So, no live event, no prizes for subscribing, no freebies, nada. 

Second, I was afraid you might think I was trying to make money exploiting the most intimate details of your life. I am not selling you. There is no profit for me here other than the gift of connecting women through experiences and hopefully making you feel better about yourself. I have self-funded the site and podcast and hope to continue to be able to do it for a long time.

But maybe there was also a tiny voice inside of me that was afraid you would reject me, and tell me this was all silliness. Of course, there was. That self-doubt we need to constantly work to keep in check reared her ugly head once again. And that is probably more the reason I chose a soft, quiet little launch instead of a big ass party than any of the other reasons above. 

I realized this by 11:00 am the day I went live. I was sitting in my living room, reading all of the wonderful comments and feedback, crying deep, grateful tears. I was actually quite a mess. Why was I alone at this awesome moment in my life? Why hadn’t I planned something fun and surrounded myself with my people? Why did I stifle what should have been a celebration? 

I phoned a friend, who immediately heard something off in my voice. Want me to come over? Yes! My good friend came to sit with me for hours, and do all the things you need a friend to do. We went through all the messages and comments, while she reaffirmed for me that I had done something good. We ate cheese, lots of cheese. She didn’t even comment when I kept. Eating. The. Cheese. We talked about all the good that is hopefully yet to come from TGPO. And when she left, I knew, that I absolutely had to plan a re-do. 

Self-awareness is an amazing thing. 

So let the planning of the second launch of TGPO begin! This time I won’t be afraid. I will get out of my head. I will have bells and whistles. I will make more noise. I am celebrating the hell out of what we have made together, and I am celebrating YOU! Because after all, that’s really what this project is all about. And the little voice sitting in the back of the room? She’s totally getting bounced. XO Karm 

Photo Credit: Chelsea Sears http://chelseamodernimages.com/

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